Numbness of the silence

Darkness is my friend
And has always been a part of me
All alone inside the empty house
Yes I realize that you are there
I start to smile, as I hear your whisper
In the numbness of this silence

It helps me find out that
You are looking down right at me
Oh my love, I talk to you
Without making a sound
Whispering the words of love
You are still as much real to me
As much as you were, when alive
I realize that you are still in love
With me as much as you were
When you left me all alone in this world
And swayed all the way to the other
Now its only me, who dwells with you
Talking singing and romancing all day long,
Sometimes dancing in the rain
You are still around me
Protecting me from the cold world outside
And the numbness of this silence

You still smile at me and tell me
The right from wrong
When I don find a way
You are still the one who wishes me
Good night before I go to sleep
And bless my mornings
With a kiss right on my lips
You still stand by staring at me
When I am cooking breakfast
Telling me why you love me so much
And what you crazy about me
I can see your angry face when
When I return home late
Oh my love I still feel you
Console me after a bad day at work

As I see you hear you
Right next to me I feel you
Every breath that I live
I live only for you
Fighting every night from the
Numbness of the silence


.....Saptarshi

Looking at You

Looking at you , poets forget
Comparison of beauty
As you make the beholder sway
With the gracefulness of your smile
Like the golden sun rays sparkle
When they fall on the frozen streets
My eyes sparkle just by looking at you

Looking at you , the moon fades out
As she sees someone prettier than her
The diamonds and pearls feel shy
Seeing the glow in your face
When you smile, it feels like a long winter night
Has ended with a bright morning
Your lips are so magical that
And gives a brand new meaning to life
Even a dead heart starts thumping, just by looking at you

The ways you sway when you are happy
Is like a symphony of the tall purple grasses in the prairies
Your fair like the sunflowers
And your cheeks like the light pink orchids of autumn
The lustrous hair of yours are the thunderous dark clouds
Oh you are so beautiful
Like the sun shining down from the clear blue sky
You are so beautiful,
That there is no way I can explain to the world
Don't know whether to call you
An Angel or Princess, a Flower or a Miracle
Or Goddess of beauty itself


Looking at you ,I see my mind
Writing a thousand songs in praise
Painting pictures of you in my imagination
As I realize that a dying soul
Learns to live again
Just by looking at you
Witnessing the fathomless depths of the oceans
Right in your eyes,
I understand why God created you
The earth keeps turning
The sun keeps burning
Just by looking at YOU

...... Saptarshi

Never Stop Loving You

When the zyphere brush across the leaves
I can hear your whispers in the wind
Making me realize how much you loved me
And though you are not around, you are in my mind

Many many moments passing by without you around
Hopes still flicker inside of me in pain
Dreaming of your arms wide open, and love unbound
You holding me walking the city roads in the rain

I don't know why did I ever lose you
What did ever go wrong between us
The coldness around me makes me numb and blue
Baby, I still keep this heart beating as time pass

If only I could turn back time
I would have stuck on to you with my dear life
Done anything to keep your love, and you as mine
Would have never let you go, even if it cuts like a knife

Just tell me one thing what I should do
To turn the clock back and make you mine
Where shall I go, what shall I do without you
just want to hold your hand under the sky so fine

Seems like just a moment ago I was so much with you
Next moment you walked away and my world is falling apart
Take me back or I'll die as I can't live without you
My eyes are dream dry and my heat broken into parts

Burnt up within the bruises and the wounds
I want to knock at the door of your heart
Asking for a second chance, to make things turn around
Or the day will fade away to a never ending night will start

Even if I die trying to get you back
No regrets as my most priced possession is you
Your eyes are the magic and your presence is the charm
Though my heart is broken, it will never stop loving you


......Saptarshi



This is dedicated to all those people who have loved someone very dearly and lost them forever

Hey You.....

Hey you , hiding your feelings behind
The deep green eyes of your solitude and innocence
The glow of your beauty turns me blind
Makes me numb and fettered to my sense

Hey you, stirring me awake from tie long forgotten me
With the view of your fathomless depths of heart
It only you in everything that I see
You are giving my life a brand new start

Hey you, closing my soul in my day-dreams
Making me crazy by everything about you
The whispers that make me smile and scream
In so much joy, making my gray to a sunny blue

Hey you, loving me with your heart and soul
Caring for me like I have never been cared before
Thought of losing you leave my heart with a hole
With every passing moment, I keep loving you more and more



.........Saptarshi

Intense Emotions

Every stormy night has a dawning day
Every dark sky has a shining star
And it shines just for you baby
And you are the only one who shines for me

It is an intense emotion that fills my heart
The cold night keeps growing colder
The silence keeps growing louder
I'm craving to hear your whispers
Your heart warming care keeps me breathing
And nurtures the intense emotions
Hidden deep down in my heart and soul

When my heart is full of pent up feelings
And I don't where I wanna go
Or what i wanna do, and I feel
My losing is just a one way street
Then you stop right by me and pick me up
And touch my heart with all the emotions
When I suddenly see myself falling down
You save me every time
As I see that I've fallen right in your arms


I takes a lot to laugh, when so much sorrow
Pool in ans flow out in form of tears
But you were always there to wipe them away
And to tell me " Everything's gonna be alright"
When ever I second guess my existence
You heal my heart ache, and save my soul
When I am silent and staring at you
My soul says that you are the special one
With every drop of red flowing in my veins
And you are the one who keeps me from dying
You are the yearn of my intense emotions

.......Saptarshi

Confessions of a Broken Hearted Drug Addict

Life,betrayed me once again. I agree that some things that I have done will never change no matter how hard I try. But I was left all alone, crestfallen and all bruised up in my own pent up feelings. I have always let her self-centered mind magnify my agony. As she walked away from me seeking for love in the arms of another man, I stood still frozen unable to stop my tears that rolled out of my eyes. I was left without a choice but to live on a chemical dependency to hold on to my sanity. Flashback of memory punishing me once again, by making me realize with every beat of my heart that the true emotions were fake, the love was full of falsehood and the care was nothing but just virtual, nothing was real

I realize that my fear,regret and loneliness has engulfed me and I kept drifting away far from reasoning capabilities . I felt all alone in crowded rooms thinking to myself that there is no escape from this state of mind as visions of love and hate collage behind my eyes. Echoes of fading laughter and painful cries kept knocking at the door of my mind. Yes, I realized I am falling like a rock, thinking why in the world did I ever jump , don't know how much longer till I hit the ground. I couldn't tell myself why I kept breaking down, but that was one truth that I couldn't deny. I wondered how I started preferring to be left alone,that is because I really lost control over my acts and the words that I was speaking. I see I am coming to an end realize that there is no turning back now,even if I want to.

I couldn't sleep as every now and then I will feel her presence around me in my dreams. I kept on waking up with a shout and blood thumping all over my face as I'll see her with him in my dreams, kissing his lips with her eyes closed. So I gave up sleep and loved to be in the state of semi-consciousness smelling the leaves burn inside the rolled up papers. When I had to deal with the rest of the world, I use to take a deep breath and hide behind my bravest mask. Inside me I kept admitting to myself that I have lost control. . When I use to stand face to face confront with the man in the mirror I see a man so battered and bruised that has nothing left to fight the rest of the battle called life. All these past years I have passed just loving her from deep within. She was my love my friend and my guardian angel. My only reason to stay alive she deserted me without giving me a reason and I lost my only silver lining in my dark and cold world

I use to be a sane human being , with joy and tears, family and friends, springs and autumns. But my life got twisted as she said that she is happy with some other guy. I started walking one step closer to death everyday I tried to convince her that we both could be happy together. But she to kill my efforts with a merciless negative answer.

I still yearn for her. Maybe I always knew, my fragile dreams will be ruined by her someday. Today I got drenched in own sentiments, to the fathomless depths of my heart filled with sufferance and silent agony, after all these years love is all I have given her. Bitterness of my fate engulfed me, when I kept on listening to her whispers breaking all promises that she had ever made to me. Thousand unknown voices taunting me for the love that I have wasted for all these years.

The toxicity of the drugs, silenced all voices in the head and a strange numbness that faded all pains of the broken heart, wiped all memories of the moonlit night when she held my hand and walked beside me on the road. Gone were the thoughts "oh if i could see the love in her eyes again". I lost the count of days and lost track of time. I never use to recognize anyone. I failed to comprehend whatever anyone told me, but myself, a significant reason to what was the cause of this sublime state of mind, a new inherent passive sense of contentment keeps me from thinking how my blooming garden of fantasy was struck by a lightning making it all burnt down to ashes. Though I see my chances fading and the time slipping out of my hand. I still had a kind and forgiving mind behind the crimson psychotic eyes. But everyone in the world around disowned me and pushed me to a place where I saw no reason to continue breathing and force my existence. I opened my arms and embraced the plan of meeting the truest love who never betrays, Death, who once comes to you never leaves you.

So I rose up from the ground stood on the top of a cliff that I knew had the deepest end and pushed myself from there to break free. Now I see the cliff above and i feel the wind brushing through my hair. Descending so fast that I could hardly imagine. I lost control. Yes I am falling , don't know how much longer till I hit the ground. People will call me coward and a quitter, but I did myself a favor by breaking the chains of in and out going gasp of air to keep the mortality. I am going to embrace the end of my life with an undeniable truth of death. It seems like eternity since I am falling now I cant reverse anything but closing my eyes I recollect everything good or bad that I have done. Don't know when death came and went away , and I see myself now surrounded by a bright white light. Don't know where I'm going, to the soft turf Heaven or the burning Hell, but it can't be more beautiful than the moments she loved me or could not be more painful than losing her